One afternoon while I was visiting, mom helped dad stand up and just for a moment, they stood together and held their embrace.  ”I’m so sorry,” I heard my dad whisper a little too loudly to my mom. “Hush,” she said, “the children think we’re dancing.”

I’ve thought about that over the last several days and you know, Mom is right. Sometimes the only difference between stumbling and dancing is the music.  So, here’s my New Year’s Resolution: whenever I feel a little unsteady, I’m going to hum a little louder. Who knows? Maybe the world will think I am dancing.

PS: Dad is better and responding well to rehab. I guess dancing is good for your heart…

What’s your resolution for 2012?

If you are having trouble coming up with one…
Try reading the Bible all the way through!

Follow @ReadTheBibleBBC for daily reading plans in 2012.

When I woke up, I found myself wondering, “What if churches acted like baseball franchises and could trade their “team” from one church to another?” Would churches trade pastors, staffs, members? “I’ll trade you one pastor for two committed members and a staff member to be named later.”

What would a good pastor be worth? How would you measure a pastor? In baseball, we have OBP (on base percentage), BA (Batting Average), ERA (earned run average) and a bunch more…

But what stats would you put on a pastor’s card?

ABY (average baptisms yearly)?

AIA (average increased attendance)?

AGB (average growth in budget)?

I know these are the numbers we usually use, but are they the right ones?

For that matter, how would you determine the value of a member?

What measurements would you use?

I know that’s what everybody thinks, but is that true?  Is God really against EVERYTHING?  Let’s check the facts.

In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve could eat the fruit of any plant they wanted—except one tree.  Adam and Eve had a paradise full of good things to eat. God gave them only one no.  One no!  That’s hardly being against everything.

And the 10 Commandments?  There are 8 things God says we can’t do… things like murder, stealing, lying—things like these are forbidden.  Is anyone for these things?  Again, the facts say God isn’t against everything.

And Jesus?  Jesus boiled it all down to two commandments.  Love God.  Love others as you love yourself.  Just 2?  Yep, just 2…

In fact, God sent Jesus into our world to show us all what God is for.  Jesus is for the kingdom, for love, for mercy, for justice, for peace—for us!  And we were created FOR HIM!

The good news of the gospel is that God in Christ is for us… and following Christ is the power of living for, not against.

So, what about you?  Are you living for or against?

This is a tough way to live.  I know.  I lived with self-hatred for a long time.  We pick it up from a lot of different places.  Churches make us feel bad because we have “failed” God.  Schools tell us we aren’t “keeping up.”  Parents, sometimes with good intentions, keep pointing out our faults and places where we need to improve.  Add it all up and it’s not hard to come to the conclusion that we will NEVER make it.  And we hate ourselves for this…

So, what do you do about it?

Well, I know you think I’m going to say “Jesus” and I am.  But probably not the way you are assuming I will.

I am going to say stop listening to everyone else and start listening to Jesus—not preachers or teachers, but Jesus Himself.

How do you do that?

First, read the Bible.   Read the gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and here is what you will find.  Jesus went out of His way to find those who hated themselves.

He went to them and told them two things:

1. I love you. (And the love of Jesus trumps everything else!)
2. I created you for a purpose.

Got that?

First, He created you… how can you hate something Jesus Himself made?  You are priceless… simply because of the Artist who made you.

Second, God is up to something in His world and you are designed to be part of that!  In Christ, we find both our identity and purpose and of course, joy.

Now, I’ll need to write more on this later, but this will get you started.   You are loved.   You are needed.  Jesus says so.

Is self-hatred an issue for you or your friends?

How are they dealing with it?

What are the big questions and /or issues?

Write me back.  Let’s talk about this.

Well, as you can imagine, there are lot of things here we would like for Paul to spend some more time on.  Things like, “Pray without ceasing.”  Really?  How do you do that? Did he mean to keep praying even when you are driving?

But I digress…the one I want to talk about is in verse 18, “Give thanks in everything, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Really, Paul… grateful in everything?  The first thing I want to do is to check Paul’s own life… did he do what he is telling us to do? And the answer is yes, he did. When thrown in jail in Philippi, he and Silas praised God.  In his letter to the Philippians, he celebrates how his imprisonment has been used to advance the cause of the gospel.

OK, next question… how did he do that? I think the answer is in that last phrase, “in Christ.” For Paul, it didn’t matter where he was or what was happening to him, he had learned to discern the presence of Christ. Being with Christ made every moment valuable to him as a disciple.  If things were going well, he was learning something from Jesus. If things were going bad, he was learning something from Jesus.  “To live is Christ and to die is gain,” Paul wrote. He wrote that in prison.

So, I am praying for one thing today… that I will be able to be aware of Christ regardless of what else is going on in my life. To be able to say, this moment – regardless of what the moment is – is bringing me closer to Jesus.

I can be grateful for the rain and the sunshine… because all of it is given to me in Christ. Every day is a gift. Every day is from Christ, for Christ, and in Christ. This is God’s will for you and me.

And for that, I am profoundly and deeply grateful.

On this particular day, I teed off and of course, the ball didn’t go where I wanted it to go. Alex laughed. Now, if you play golf, you know it is rude to laugh at another’s poor shot.  But Alex laughed at me. And he laughed hard.

“Why are you laughing?” I said.

“I’m laughing at you.”

I couldn’t leave well enough alone.  “Why are you laughing at me?”

“Because,” Alex said, “you don’t do anything in your swing to make the ball go where you want it to go. You just stand up there and wish.”

As embarrassing as that moment was, I learned a valuable lesson that day.  The lesson?  There is a lot of difference between wishing and wanting. What’s the difference? Wishing means you would like for something to happen, but you aren’t going to do anything to make it happen.  Wanting means you desire something and you are taking the necessary steps to turn your desires into reality.

Most of us wish. Few of us want.

Can’t figure out what you want in life? Do a quick audit of recent actions. Where do these actions take you? Our lives are nothing more than the sum of previous decisions.  So, what kind of life will result from the decisions you are now making? Is it what you want? If not, then you need to change your present actions because they will determine your future. If you don’t, then you are just wishing.

Wanting means I’m doing the next steps required to achieve my desired outcome. Wishing means I’m sitting here hoping things work out.

There is a lot of difference between wishing and wanting. Do you know what that difference is?

Friends have asked me what I am thinking about on my birthday now that I am 55. The answer is easy.

Gratitude. I am grateful. For one thing, any birthday at this age is a happy one.  I am grateful for another year of life. Nothing is guaranteed. I know that.  I am thankful for the gift of every day.

I am grateful for a great family. I am grateful for my wife Jeannie who, after almost 32 years of marriage is still my girlfriend.  For my sons, Chris and Craig… for the men they have become.  And for my daughters-in-law…Deb and Nan. What joy they have brought to our family.

And their two dogs…naaah, I don’t have to be grateful for their dogs.

I have great friends. Real friends.

I have a calling and a church that allows me to live out that calling.

I have good health and despite a little scare this past year, I am doing very well.

I am a very rich man…maybe not a lot of money, but a lot of treasures.

Today’s my birthday. And I am grateful for every second of it.

But you still feel bad.

So, we think there is something missing…like maybe forgiving ourselves.  Well, maybe…or maybe not.  What do I mean by that? I mean maybe we are asking the wrong questions. Perhaps a familiar story can help us.  In Luke 15, we have the story of the Prodigal Son.  How does the young son react when he realizes he has made a mistake?  He determines to go home and say to his father, “I have sinned against heaven and against you.” (Luke 15:21). Notice, he didn’t say he had sinned against himself.  Surely, his decisions had hurt him as a person, but he doesn’t look for self-forgiveness. What needs to be fixed is his relationship with God and his father. The young man understood the problem was between God, his father and himself.  That’s where the forgiveness had to happen.

And when it happens, you can only receive it. You can’t do anything to earn the forgiveness. You receive it as a gift or not at all.

Sometimes feeling bad can be used to help us understand the seriousness of our mistake, but more times than not, feeling bad is disguised doubt. We doubt Jesus has forgiven us. We doubt if Jesus CAN forgive us. Surely, we reason, it can’t be that easy. It’s not. It’s just something we can’t do. Jesus paid an awful price for our mistakes. The forgiveness has to come from Him.

Here is what I am finding out about being forgiven…when I still feel bad about something, I need to spend more time praying about it. There is something for me to learn, something that needs to be understood at a different level and in order for that to happen, I need to spend a lot more time in prayer.

The issue isn’t forgiving myself.  The issue is understanding (as much as I can) the depth of Christ’s love for me revealed in His forgiveness for me.

Are you stuck here? Good.  Jesus wants the conversation to continue.  Make some time to be alone with Him. You have much to learn. Don’t panic or be afraid. Jesus is a patient and good teacher.

Then, of course, there is all kind of research out there. Studies show a variety of things and to be honest, you have to read the studies very carefully to see what the research is actually saying. The headlines of the articles are rarely accurate.

There is one thing all of the research does agree on.  Those who are forced to change don’t respond well.  What do I mean by forced? There are those who believe that you can take someone into an intense program of “de-programming” and change a person’s make up. These efforts rarely work.

And here’s why. For anyone to change they have to want to change. Change can’t be forced on anyone. God Himself respects the free will of the individual. Remember the rich young ruler? Jesus let him walk away.  When Jesus respects a person’s choices, we as Christ followers must do the same.

Reinhold Niebuhr had a great line. He wrote, “People must be lured into righteousness.” How are people lured into righteousness? First, the people of God must live such powerful lives in front of our friends they will want to know the Christ who fills our lives. Most of us would recognize the church fails at this…and that’s another blog.

Second, we must be good neighbors to our friends, regardless of the choices they make.  That means we are cordial, hospitable, and genuinely loving to those around us. We are never given permission to be hateful or judgmental toward another. Being right isn’t enough. Read 1 Corinthians 13. Loves suffers all things — even the choices of another individual.

Lastly,  we have to understand that we can’t change anybody.  We don’t have that power.  What we are called to do is bear witness.  “This is who I know Jesus to be. This is what  He has done in my life and I want to tell you about Him.”  We want everyone to come to know Jesus Christ.  When they come to know Jesus we want them to grow in His likeness.  When they begin to know who He is and grow in understanding who they are called to be in Christ, then the changes happen naturally — from  the inside out.

As Jesus fills your life He pushes everything else out.  The change happens from the inside out, not from the outside in.  We who preach Christ must understand that we do so only as a witness. The change done in another person’s life is done by Christ, not by us.   And we certainly can never force it. But as Niebuhr reminds us, we can lure them towards the right way.

But there is still one thing I don’t get.  Every once in a while a book will be released with a lot of buzz around it.  I will check it out.  The book will be by a major professor at a major university with  great academic credentials.

BUT… this professor won’t be a believer.  This professor won’t believe in the resurrection, the virgin birth, the divinity of Christ, the miracles—nothing—but they will write and teach—and be considered an authority—but they won’t be a believer.

This has never made any sense to me. How can you build a career teaching something you don’t believe to be true?  How can you teach about Jesus without living out His teachings?

It’s partly the church’s fault.  When we make studying the Bible a process of historical and form criticism, text analysis and language nuances we end up taking the Bible apart and in the process, losing the Scripture.

Don’t get me wrong.  I use every tool I can find to study the Bible more deeply and to know Christ more fully.  But when you go so deep into the text that you miss Jesus, well, you have missed the whole point.

A disciple studies the Bible to know Jesus.  If, for all of our study, we don’t know Jesus any better, we have wasted our time.  The point of Bible study is to get closer to Jesus, not to just get smarter. We don’t study the Bible for information, but for transformation.  If we aren’t being transformed into His likeness, then we aren’t studying Scripture.  We are just reading.

Christ said obedience to His teachings is the mark of a true disciple.  Not knowledge, not data, but obedience. Obedience requires belief.  Without belief we won’t obey… and we won’t teach very well either.

One last point:  the life of the teacher has to back up what is being taught.  Without an authentic witness the teaching won’t be believed, and again, there will be no transformation.  And without transformation, well there is no encounter with Jesus.  We’re just smarter… not better.  Information that doesn’t lead to transformation is as useless, well, as a professor teaching Scripture he doesn’t believe in.